adj. having a great deal to do
verb. to keep occupied
As busy as a bee.
As busy as a beaver.
Whichever you’d prefer.
Most people in my life know how busy I am these days. I work two jobs, which is the main source of my busy-ness, but there are other factors involved too. I have another “job” which is more like a volunteer position, but I’ve put my greatest effort into it, treating it like a true part-time job; it’s my other major time strain and source of stress. Then, there’s the fact that I have a pretty egregious commute every day to those two real jobs. I spend on average between 60-90 minutes in the car there and back, sometimes really late at night. Then there’s just life things–like dinner with the family, celebrating a birthday, visiting Grandma, hanging out with friends, going out, etc.
Balancing everything is hard, but it’s also been the bulk of my life, and I’ve learned how to do it well.
I’ve always had multiple things on my plate at any given time, ever since high school. I was thinking today that I work more now than I did my last semester of undergrad, which seems unreal because I felt way more stress that last semester than I do now. I was busy then, but also run down. My support system was all the way in Minnesota, while I was struggling to make it all work in North Carolina. That right there, your support system, makes a world of difference. There were some days, only less than a year ago, where I’d get to work at 7 am, be done by 2 pm, then be in class from 3 to 9 pm. I remember thinking that I couldn’t sustain a schedule like that for very long because my school work would start to suffer, and that wouldn’t be good since I was writing a thesis.
The drive to create is still there underneath all the chaos.
Now my longest day starts at 8:30 am at job #1. I get a short break from 4 to 5 pm, but then launch into job #2 promptly at 5. I’m finally off for the night (or at least what’s left of it) at 11:30 pm, possibly earlier if I’ve worked efficiently. 16-hour days have become a norm in my life, and every time I get just a bit more adjusted to that schedule.
I have a sneaking suspicion this is so tolerable for me because I enjoy these two jobs. I see the value in them, beyond their financial benefits, and so I find ways to make them work. Even if I’m straining myself, pushing my limits, I can rationalize why I’m doing it and so the risk to my mental health feels validated.
A busy life isn’t for everyone. But I’ve found a busy life is for me. I get bored so quickly if I’m not being engaged in some type of way. Take this blog. It was started shortly after I graduated and moved back home because I came home from work or my internship and didn’t know what to do with myself. Netflix only entertains for so long. Reading is fun but makes you want to create. My free time to dedicate to Sunland Tells (and other creative pursuits) is far and few between these days, but the drive to create is still there underneath all the chaos.
So until the next post, however long away it may be. It’ll come, though, I can promise you that.